Funny Quotations from Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson
"Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" is a talk show hosted by Johnny Carson that lasted from 1962 to 1992 with a total of 4531 episodes. The show followed a set structure of stand up comedy followed by a skit, then interviewing guests that was later employed by David Letterman, Jay Leno, and other late-night talk show hosts. "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" is ranked as number twelve on TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time list.
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You'll find some of the many hilarious Johnny Carson quotes below.
Ed McMahon: Heeeeeeeeere's Johnny!
Art Fern: Now back to our feature film! Woody Harrelson, Woody Allen, Woody Woodpecker, Woody Herman, Herman Munster, and Dumpo the Wonder Pigeon, in "Heidi Suffers an Estrogen Avalanche."
Johnny Carson: I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.
Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun.
Ed McMahon: Shogun.
Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store?
[Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter]
Johnny Carson: I didn't even know you were Jewish!
[Ed is laughing to himself]
Carnac the Magnificent: [annoyed] Carnac the Magnificent is attempting to divine an answer and you're sitting here, giggling. May I have silence, please?
Ed McMahon: Of course. You've had it many times before.
Johnny Carson: [when guests talk too much] Exactly what time did I lose control of this show?
Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Debate.
Carnac the Magnificent: [reads letter] What do you use to catch de fish?"
[Carson's first monologue]
Johnny Carson: I want my Na-Na!
[Carson's last show]
Johnny Carson: And so it has come to this: I, uh... am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do and I have enjoyed every single minute of it. I want to thank the gentlemen who've shared this stage with me for thirty years. Mr. Ed McMahon, Mr. Doc Severinsen, and you people watching. I can only tell you that it has been an honor and a privilege to come into your homes all these years and entertain you. And I hope when I find something that I want to do and I think you would like and come back that you'll be as gracious in inviting me into your home as you have been. I bid you a very heartfelt good night.
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Next: The Ed Sullivan Show